


I'm dying (but I'm ok with that).

by booklover4eva



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-08-21 22:18:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8262371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/booklover4eva/pseuds/booklover4eva
Summary: Things happen that we have no control over and you can't help her, you can't even help yourself so all you can do is cry and scream at the world while you tear into a thousand pieces.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back but not at my best yet so instead of trying to continue (and ruin) old stories I'm starting a new one to ease me back in x
> 
> Will be updated frequently x
> 
> Comments save lives lol jk... ish x

Imagine if everything you cared about was taken from you, imagine if your loved ones were torn apart in front of you as you watched helplessly.

You can't, can you? It's too painful to think about, not even for a second.

Well this is what happened to me, this is the story of how everything I cared about and everyone I loved was destroyed.

This is the story of how my love died and how I tried to follow.

 

Two months ago...

I was part of something great once, maybe even special and I loved every second of it.

Regina lay next to me in our bed, with the sun rising through the window I watched it bathe her in it's golden light.

She murmured sleepily and I couldn't help smiling at how beautiful she looked, I wanted to capture this moment forever, but looking at the clock I sighed knowing that if I didn't wake her up now she'd be pissed off all day.

I brushed my hand lightly against her cheek and whispered her name, brown eyes slowly opened and Regina smiled softly at me before stretching and getting out of bed.

"Come on Swan," She said grinning at me when I tried to burrow back into the covers. She expertly whipped them away before I could wrap them around me properly and chuckled when I grumbled at her.

This had been our routine for nearly a year since I moved in. I woke her up early for work and she dragged me out of bed.

Now...

 

I placed the dream catcher back where I found it, I didn't even realise she'd made one, I felt something move down my cheek and when I brushed it away my fingers were wet. I'm not sure when I started crying but now, sitting on cold stone, I couldn't stop the tears. It was a bad idea to come here but lately it seems like that's all I can do.

I picked up the next dream catcher and prepared myself for whatever it might show me.

 

One month ago...

 

"For fucks sake Regina will you just stop and listen to me?!" I pleaded with her in frustration.

She had her back to me and stopped just short of the door. "Fine!," She snapped at me. "Tell me 'O' Great One, what possible explanation could excuse you cheating on me!! With Ruby of all people!"

Even though I couldn't see her face I knew she was fighting back tears.

"I'm not cheating on you Regina, I swear." I moved closer to her and tugged on her shoulder until we were face to face.

"Hey," I said gently. "Look at me 'Gina, I promise you I would never hurt you and I meant that." I said, hoping that she'd hear the sincerity in my voice. 

"Well if you're not cheating then why are you being so secretive and what about the late night calls to Ruby?" Regina asked softly, she didn't look sad anymore, just resigned. My heart broke for her, I'd caused this, I had hoped she wouldn't notice but she had and she'd jumped to the wrong conclusion and if I don't tell her now I might lose her forever.

I held her tightly whispering reasurrances before kissing her and gently pulling away.

"You're right, I have been keeping something from you, but it's not what you think Regina I swear." I reached into my pocket and brought out a ring that Ruby had helped me find and got down on one knee.

"Regina Mills I love you with all my heart, I know we didn't have the best start or middle really." Regina and I chuckled at that, remembering all the times we fought over the stupidest things.

"Before I came here I never felt like I belonged anywhere, I never believed in true love but meeting you, getting to know the real you, has been the greatest thing in my life and I would be honoured if you would take this next step with me and make our family official. Regina Mills will you be my wife?" I felt absolutely terrified when all she did was stare at me for what felt like forever, just when I couldn't stand waiting any longer she squealed and threw herself into my arms, peppering my face with kisses while saying yes repeatedly.

I grinned at her, "So is it official now? Are we engaged?" 

Regina laughed while sliding the ring onto her finger. "Yes you idiot, of course!".

 

Now....

I threw the dream catcher away from me as I crumpled to the floor, it wasn't fair. I wanted to destroy the box of dream catchers but i knew I'd regret it if i did, so instead I hurt curled up and fell asleep wishing that she was here.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!  
> Hope you all enjoy the first chapter, and I'm very sorry to all those waiting on updates from my other stories I promise I will get back to them soon.   
> Comments save lives remember! Lol :) x


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